The WHY Behind my
Tread Talks

Several times a week, I lace up my sneakers, click “Indoor Walk” on my Apple Watch, and step onto my treadmill. My unstained sneakers recognize this familiar territory.

Yes, it’s a place for building and strengthening my cardio health. But for me, it’s become more than that. It’s a 4 ½ foot space where I find peace, clarity, and even – rest.

I have called my treadmill a prayer closet more than once. I have found God in moments of complete surrender, that could only be found when I reached the end of my physical abilities. I have prayed bold prayers out loud here (just ask the Amazon delivery drivers), and I also have been at a complete loss for words to pray here. And in those moments when the right words couldn’t be found, my steady breathing and rhythmic steps on the black moving belt created a sense of comfort. Like an audible heartbeat to remind me that there’s still breath in my lungs and strength in my body.

In many ways, my treadmill has made me stronger.

But it wasn’t always that way.

I was always athletic as a child, but my obsession with fitness began in college. I can blame a lot of factors but in the end, I didn’t know Jesus and my only sense of confidence was in my own abilities. And proving that I was in control of those abilities became my focus. In the classroom. On the teams. And, on the treadmill.

I would spend hours walking, jogging, running intervals, side shuffling - you get the idea - on any treadmill I had access to. And the calorie counter on these machines became my digital permission slip to eat. As if my life could be calculated by a simple input vs output on a one-size-fits-all man-made machine.

If I didn’t hit a total number of Calories Burned in a session - well, let’s just say that never happened. Your girl always hits her goals, even if that meant another cup of coffee and ice baths later. It probably won’t come as a surprise that I prioritized a gym membership over grocery money.

The treadmill in this season of my life was not helping me get healthy, build my fitness, or increase my endurance. Not.at.all.

On the contrary, it gave me a (very false) sense of control that I desperately needed. When everything else in my life felt out of my control and completely unpredictable, I could count on my treadmill to calculate exactly what we did that day, the next day, and the next. It was an exhausting repetitive cycle in every way.

It’s taken years to surrender this white-knuckled grip on my life. And every day, I’m still trying to pry my fingers off a little more. Thankfully, my destructive workout habits were washed away with Jesus’ redeeming blood, and He made me the truest version of wholeness that no number on the scale ever could.

So why Tread Talks? Why talk about all of this now? Because I feel it in my bones (mostly my knees, y’all), that I’m not alone. That maybe there’s something in your life that was once a source of pain for you, but God is making (or will make!) a way to use it for good.

It may not be a treadmill for you (but if it is I’d really love to know!), but if you ask God to reveal it, I promise He will. And that thing, situation, or relationship that the enemy tried to steal from you and use for your destruction, will actually be the catalyst for a great purpose. To serve others and to bring Him glory.

It’s like the best kind of victory, right? Not only does it set you free, but others are able to find freedom because of it. Whew, that’s enough to get me emotional with the happiest of tears. And that’s exactly WHY I’m here sharing my Tread Talks.

Thanks for reading, friends. Your encouragement really means the world. And I mean it when I say I can’t wait to hear back from YOU.